What Would You Do?

I have a more intellectual post waiting in the wings, but I am compelled to write this first. Earlier on in this pilgrimage, I wrote about the war in me between that which childlike and full of wonder and that which is more grown up and concerned with cold, hard realities, etc. Click on the link 'war' and read. I promise it's a short post.

This past year has been the year of the grown up. A year ago I left the church that I had had years of dreams for based on what I perceived as a trend of wrong headed decisions that wasn't going to be reversed in my lifetime. That's a very grown up move and flew right in the face of all the child had invested. Consequently the war has been in very great danger of being over. And the child might soon completely dead.

A couple of days ago while at home group, (house church, cell group, or whatever you want to call it) an inkling came to me that God might want to revive the child. "If you ask me, I'll give it back..." He was talking about life and passion, maybe even power. The child.

I won't insult your intelligence by laying out all that I risk by asking. Dreaming again will be as uncertain as an abyss. What glories or pains await me if I jump? It's not knowable till I do. I'll just ask this. What would you do?